Because @trashforthetrashblog is a thirsty person. I may continue this, I don’t know. Long af thing incoming.

“You know, I don’t make a habit of inviting people in
without getting a name or some shit.”

 The other occupant of the apartment let out a rumbling
chuckle, and a shiver bolted up Levi’s spine as the low sound reached his ears.

“Well, depends on who you ask. I have many names. But you
can call me Erwin.” Levi hardly appreciated the cryptic answer, and a part of
his brain absent-mindedly wondered when the hell Mike was coming back.

Fuckin’ dumbass just
had to go to the sketchy-ass Laundromat tonight. If he’d only pulled his big
head out of his ass and fixed up the fucking washer we had here, I wouldn’t
have to deal with this shit here…

Granted, the strange man was only on Levi’s couch because Levi
had invited him in. His mother—God rest her soul—instilled quite the sense of philanthropy
in him; he couldn’t just refuse to help another man in need. Besides, said man
wasn’t too terrible to look at. Well, save for the injuries he had
sustained.

Even through the black tuxedo he was wearing, vibrant
patches of blood poured through. Erwin had claimed that he was at a party a few
floors down, and some guests got a little too rowdy, and things had gone a
little south then.

Levi had shown no interest in the revelry and debauchery
going on in his apartment complex, preferring to use the rare gift of a weekend
off as an excuse to get some much needed sleep, but even he had heard the
crashes and grunts of effort as the scuffle ensued floors below.

The party had long since ended—the landlord didn’t take too
kindly to such loud and outrageous behavior—and everyone was to return home
immediately. Erwin’s home was “across the river”—the trek to the river took an
hour, traffic allowing—so the next logical step was for Erwin to find somewhere
to crash for the night.

Levi had caught a glimpse of the man shambling up the
stairwell, too many drinks in his system, clutching his bleeding forehead in
his massive hand. Levi had fought the urge to rip open his door and just
blatantly invite him in. The man was nothing short of attractive with his slicked
blond hair and striking pale blue eyes. His voice was a low rumbling purr—smooth
like silk with a hint of a rasp. Any sensible person would have to fight himself
or herself to not faint at just the sound of it.

And yet despite his appeal, no one had let him in. Levi supposed it was only fair; not many were
willing to open doors for a bleeding stranger at one in the morning.

So why the fuck did I
let him in? Something about the young man had captivated Levi. Yes, he
looked good, but thirst could only get Levi so far. Then just what the hell was
it about Erwin?

“Who’s this guy?”

Levi almost jumped from his skin and his heart lurched into
his throat.

“Jesus titty-fucking Christ, Mike…fuckin’…”

“I asked if anyone was home…” Mike shifted the laundry
basket to his right hip and again affixed his gaze upon the stranger occupying the
couch. “Who’s this guy?”

Levi sighed, dragged Mike towards the kitchen, and recounted
the situation Erwin had given him at the door. For the sake of his pride, Levi
cut out the bit where he became immediately enamored with the tall blond
stranger.

Mike acquiesced with a slight nod, then paused and turned
back to Levi. “Just…make sure he goes home in the morning….something about him just doesn’t seem right.”

He then continued his journey towards his room, his basket jostling
against his hip with each step. He gave a curt nod to Erwin as he passed, and
Erwin graciously returned the gesture with a small smile of his own. Levi meanwhile was frozen after hearing Mike’s warning. If Mike thought
something was up with Erwin…Mike put an exorbitant amount of trust in his
intuition, and that trust was well earned; that gut instinct rarely led him
astray.

Levi sighed as he entered the room Erwin was in. He barely
registered the sound of the kitchen door as it whined in its hinges when Erwin
spoke up.

“Is everything okay?” He asked rather cautiously, as if
probing too deep would get his ass thrown back out into the hallway. Levi raked
a hand down his face—that was probably a sufficient explanation of the current
condition of things—but he lied through his teeth anyways.

“Yeah…and why the fuck should you care? Shouldn’t you be
resting or something?”

“Levi…I was in a little scuffle, not a war. I’ll be fine
even if I miss a couple hours of sleep. Besides I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m
tired yet. I’d like to talk for a while.”

Levi squinted his eyes suspiciously before firing back. “I
never told you my fucking name…how do you already know it?”

“I’m not that scary, Levi. I just saw it on one of your
papers.” Erwin motioned at the mess of papers scattered carelessly across the
surface of the coffee table before him. He suddenly winced as his movement
jostled one of his injuries.

“You just opened one of your wounds again, haven’t you?” Erwin sheepishly nodded.

“Fuckin’ idiot…I’ll go get more bandages and then we can
talk or whatever…” Erwin patiently waited for Levi to get back and was greeted
with a hand offering a tall glass of water.

“Mike wants you gone in the morning…” Erwin glanced up only
to meet a profile of Levi’s face. No further explanation was given, and the
message was clear. Be gone and sober in the morning—not necessarily in that
order. It was obvious, though, that Levi did not share the sentiment, if his
shameful, averted gaze meant anything.

“Thank you.” Erwin took the glass graciously, if not a
little stiffly, and downed about half of it in one giant gulp. “I’m not one to
suffer hangovers frequently, so I’ll be out of your hair soon enough. I am
terribly sorry about inconveniencing you and your flat mate, though.”

“Shut up,” Levi growled, his attention now fully devoted to
untangling the ends of bandages. “Take off your jacket and shit again.” Erwin gently
placed his water on the coffee table before him before wordlessly acquiescing. Within
seconds his shirt and jacket were thrown on the opposite end of the couch, and
he could hear Levi grunting beside him. “Now, you said you were from…across the
river?”

“Ah…yes.” Erwin answered.

“That’s where all those rich assholes who give way too many
shits about their stupid-ass reputations live.” Erwin could give no answer. The bluntness of Levi’s question
completely threw him off. He stuttered for a response, not even sure how to
begin composing one.

“But you’re not like them, are you?” Levi finally managed to
find one end of bandage. He hesitated as he beheld Erwin’s bare chest once
more. Goddamn it. For once, Levi, think straight thoughts. Levi
almost lost his composure at the thought. Like he knew what straight thoughts
consisted of. They were damn near impossible to think with Erwin’s abs glaring
at him.

Levi hastily discarded the now blood-soaked bandages in a
nearby trashcan, muttering about how absolutely disgusting blood was. Sure
enough, the gash was open and pulsing fresh blood again.

“You must’ve been in one hell of a fight. What the fuck did
they bring? A fuckin’ shiv?”

“Well, they sure as hell used it like one. They broke a
bottle,” Erwin clarified, hissing as Levi gracelessly doused his arm in more
rubbing alcohol.

“Oh, don’t be a baby…” Levi growled, briefly scraping a
cotton ball across the affected area.

“I’d like to think myself a gentleman. I stepped in before those
drunken men could get…how you say? Handsy with the hostess.”

“And I’m sure she was waving around her fucking handkerchief
as she watched her sorry ass knight get booted from the party. And who said
chivalry was dead?” Erwin chuckled again; with such proximity, Levi felt the air
around him vibrate with the sulky tenor of the sound. Levi needed to get this
over with quick before he fell further into this man’s charms. His hands trembled
and fumbled as he attempted to tie off the bandage.

What is it about this
man…?

A massive hand gently lay across Levi’s, and immediately
Levi froze. Erwin might have come across as a giant, warm, overall approachable
person, but his hands were of ice. Yet, Levi found a sort of comfort in the
contact; his hands stopped their convulsive fit, at least. But those hands left as soon as they came, and Levi saw the
other man avoiding his gaze consciously.

“I-I’m sorry. Your hands were shaking and…I’ve always had
bad circulation…”

“Shut up,” Levi snapped once more, as embarrassment dusted
his cheeks with a dark shade of red. “Anyways…your neighbors must suck ass. They’re
all jacking off onto their piles of money and shit, congratulating themselves
on how far they’ve made it. I’m sure you must be used to the party scene over
there now, huh?”

“Honestly, it’s…rather quiet where I live.” Levi tied off
the bandage with a soft grunt but soon his attention was back on Erwin.

“You’re shitting me? If they weren’t so goddamn rich, they’d
be getting noise complaints left and right. How do you not hear them? You said you pretty much brushed assholes with ‘em.”

“It’s just…quiet,” Erwin reiterated cryptically. His pale
eyes peered straight ahead, as if he were looking through time itself.

“Uh-huh,” Levi muttered, clearly not buying anything Erwin
was saying now. “So what kind of job do you have?”

“Hm?”

“Job? Source of income? So you can rub assholes with those
snobby, rich boys across the river.”

“Oh, I’m universally hated.”

“Okay, that doesn’t fuckin’ answer my fuckin’ question,”
Levi snorted. “Let me guess, lawyer? Doctor? You charge poor asshats a billion
dollars for some shit that can be fixed at home. Which one gets the most shit
on, I wonder? Which is it?”

“Undertaker.”

“What? Bullshit.
No fuckin’ way that horseshit makes that much money. You have to had gambled and won big or
sat the fuck on a street corner or something.”
A part of Levi was firmly incredulous. The other part was seething at
the fact that a lowly undertaker could somehow make more money than ever could
in a lifetime.

“You don’t know how much I wanna strangle you for that, but
I’ll let it slide because I wanna be a fucking nice person…Now, why in the fuck
would people hate you?”

“I handle the bodies of dearly beloved ones. People who were
living, breathing souls just days ago. Just doesn’t elicit much sympathy.”
Erwin stated matter-of-factly.

“Why the fuck? Shouldn’t they be mad at the fucking shitty
ass situation that got their ‘dearly beloved’ killed or something? Or life? Or, hell, even
God?” Why was Levi so quick to defend this man’s bizarre choice of career now?
He had wanted to skin him alive for it earlier.

“Eh, comes with the territory, I’d say. I’m rather used to
people thinking I’m some sort of monster.”

“Ah, well, fuck ‘em. You get haters no matter the job.
Whatever helps pay the bills…I still refuse to believe that just undertaking pays all your damn
bills, Erwin. But, whatever, the dog I live with wants you gone by sunrise and
I’m not gonna be the asshole who keeps you up all night.”

“I don’t blame him for not wanting to let a stranger in.
I’ve met many like him: highly intuitive people. Trust their guts because
they’re hardly wrong. But I won’t be in your way tomorrow. By the way, I rather
enjoyed your company tonight. Believe it or not, my profession doesn’t allow
for a lot of conversation, so it’s nice to talk to more lively people.” Erwin chuckled at the pun, and the glare Levi shot
him could’ve froze the fires of hell.

“Fuckin’ idiot,” Levi growled out, now disenfranchised by
Erwin’s supposed suaveness. “You goddamn talk too much. Go to bed.” Levi made
sure to give Erwin directions to the bathroom, should the urge to vomit or piss
arise in the other man—Levi would’ve loved to not clean any mysterious fluids
off his couch in the morning—and bid Erwin a curt goodnight.

“Goodnight…Levi.” Erwin let the name roll off his tongue
like melting butter, and Levi fought the urge to comment on just how pleasant
his name sounded in Erwin’s mouth.

No need to be so
forward with a man you’re only going to see once…Thoroughly chastised, Levi
trudged towards his room, wedged comfortably between Mike’s room at the end of
the hall and the bathroom.

His bed was such a welcome sight upon such a long day. He
fell upon with all the grace of a drunken horse, thoroughly exhausted by the
events of tonight, and planning to sleep in the next day. Sleep found him
sooner than he found it that night, and as the last dregs of consciousness
faded away, thoughts of Erwin played in his head.

 Levi woke to the smell of freshly brewed coffee. He cast a
hesitant glance at the clock on his nightstand, and almost sighed in relief
when he saw that he’d successfully slept in. An improvement considering he
hardly got any kind of sleep during the week.

Must’ve been tired or
some shit…or was it because you had happy thoughts of…

Levi stopped that train before it started careening uncontrollably,
pushing through the kitchen door with a zombielike groan of “Coffee.” Mike already had a mug of steaming energy in one massive
hand. He acknowledged Levi with a grunt—clearly, neither Mike nor Levi had had
their customary fix of caffeine.

“There’s more in the pot.”

“There fuckin’ better be or I’ll make good on my threat to
get you fuckin’ neutered.”

Mike took a few hesitant sips of coffee as Levi dragged the
mug Mike had thoughtfully brought down for him across the counter. It rasped
and screeched as it grated across the cheap surface, but Levi could not have
been assed to lift the thing off the counter, and Mike didn’t have any
complaints to make about the sound—he was thoroughly engrossed in his coffee.

Levi was focusing on not missing his cup and sending himself
to the hospital, when Mike interjected easily.

“He’s gone, by the way.”

“Yeah, I sorta fuckin’ figured. Didn’t see his ass laid out
on the couch.”

“But he left you this.” Mike handed him a neatly folded note.
On the front in hasty but bland scrawl, was Levi’s name. Mike’s handwriting was
akin to that of a six-year-old hopped up on Adderall and cocaine, and unless
there was a friendly ghost who enjoyed writing notes to only him occupying the
apartment as well, Levi knew just whom the note came from. Levi opened the note
with one hand, bringing the cup of coffee to his lips and enjoying the sting of
scalding, bitter black coffee as it dribbled down his throat.

I enjoyed our chat last night. I look forward to seeing you again in the
future.

Is that it? Levi’s
eyes scrambled desperately across the page, looking for something else. Would
he be an asshole if he just assumed that Erwin would give him something to
contact him with? A number? Hell, he’d settle for an email address. Surely
enough, a number was printed innocuously in one corner of the page along with a
messy scribble of Erwin’s full name in cursive.

“Asshole,” Levi snorted, but there was no vitriol in the word,
and he was sure Mike could see the smirk he was trying to contain slowly
breaking out across his face.