More of Eruri Soulmate AU because I have no self-control and far too much time on my hands…

(first two parts here and here)

How his resolve had
crumbled…Levi clenched his teeth bitterly, barely stifling curses under
bated breath.

Levi had planned to let his legs take him as far as humanly
possible from that apartment, but he’d hardly made it down the first two
flights of stairs when his stupid brain decided that now was as good a time as
any to start deliberating on shit.

“If you left, where
would you go?” The question had been stuck in Levi’s head since he’d left. Truth
be told, he still didn’t know. No one wanted him around: not Nile, not his damned
uncle, and certainly not Erwin.

Pretty apparent that
he never liked you to begin with. And why would he? You weren’t worth his
pretty little time. Your mum would be so…

Levi’s fist forcefully collided with the wall, and even in
his blind fury, he could feel the angry bite of pain as it raced through his
arm. Why? Why did that voice always have to sound like Kenny? However
irritating it was, the voice was right. Like it always was…

Levi descended down the rest of the stairs. He clutched at
his injured hand as each step he took jostled it more and more.

His feet led him back to his long-abandoned hovel of a house.
He remembered the day the two of them—they were only children then—first found
it. The main rooms had done nothing but collect dust and mold and cobwebs. The
place reeked of piss and desperation, but at that time, so did Levi and Farlan. He’d done
his best to clean it up, and the two both had driven any
intruders—thankfully none were bigger than a housecat—from the premises.  

Peace was a fleeting miracle—gang wars and police brutality
ran rampant just outside their door. Then Isabel quite literally barged into
their lives and shattered any semblance of peace that had settled over their humble
abode forever. She’d been fleeing from some cops who were willing to let her
off the hook for some petty crime for a “small favor” in return. Levi had seen
to them almost instantly, and no one on the streets was all the wiser when the
crooked cops who’d had a “taste for younger women” went missing from the force.

Levi could almost hear her laugh—shrill, loud, and mirthful—echoing
off the walls. He’d envied her; Isabel had been reared in much tougher conditions
than he had, and yet she still found some fleeting quality in life worth
smiling and laughing about. She could always find something to be grateful for.
She could still be spontaneous and fiery even in the midst of despair and
torment; Levi couldn’t say that about many people.

And Farlan…he was only slightly older than Levi, but the
wisdom he had extended beyond his years. Levi found himself going to the older
boy for advice—and Farlan was more than willing to supply it—but he’d always
give Levi free reign over his own choices. Farlan was almost too smart for his
own good, and his intellect went far beyond what he’d learned on the streets. He
could’ve given Erwin a run for his money, and Levi would’ve loved to have seen
that: two shrewd young men trying to strategize, plot, and scheme against each
other. Who would win?

If they were
here…would they hate me? I let them wander off. I let them die. They weren’t even twenty, dammit. They could’ve
had the rest of their lives ahead of them, and I let them go…God, I’d trade my
miserable life for theirs if it meant they could be here right now…

Levi cast a longing glance at the sky. It had shifted from a pale gold to a deep, simmering purple…For all he knew they
could’ve been matching his wistful glance with a disdainful one from above.

Of course, there I go
overestimating the worth of my life. No amount of bargaining with whatever
stupid thing up there is going to bring any of them back….

But the thought lingered in his mind, heavy, depressing, and
unwavering. He’d give everything up in a heartbeat for those two—he was sure of
it.

But then, like always, there was the question of Erwin. Any
meaning in Levi’s life had been lost to the annals of time as each struggle he
faced and each heartache he passively endured stripped away at his will to live.

But Erwin…How would he feel? If Levi just keeled over, how
would the other man react? Would he
react? The man was so damned adamant about Levi’s role in his life.

He was willing to put up with Levi’s shit—which was more than
Levi could say about Nile. Erwin was more than happy to accommodate so Levi’s
stay—however brief it was—wouldn’t be unbearable. He’d tended to his wounds,
fed him, clothed him, and allowed him into his own personal space without
asking for any favors or gifts in return. And it seemed he really didn’t want
Levi to leave—even if his reasoning seemed a bit…off.

Levi sighed. Goddamnit…All this thinking did nothing but
give him a massive headache. A chill had steeped into the air and it passed
through Levi with all the precision and grace of a dulled blade. For the third
time in little less than a week, Levi made his decision.