I made it more a habit of the past if that’s okay?
“You’re closer now,“ Erwin said right into
the busy silence that occupied the air around them as they cleaned themselves.“What does that mean now?” Levi asked and
scrubbed his upper body clean. There were some silvery shining scars here and
there that destroyed some kind of illusion Erwin had built up over time for
some unknown reason. For him Levi’s skin was always spotless when he imagined
it.“You used to keep quite the distance to me
at the beginning. I remember you’d hardly agree to standing right next to me.”“Ah, that,” Levi said now and suddenly
seemed to be a lot busier than before. He turned around and scrubbed his legs
while Erwin dumped another bucked of water over him. It wasn’t exactly cold but
not comfortably warm either. Levi sucked in some air to get used to the splash.“I always thought you were either getting
ready to still kill me or afraid I would kill you.”“Nothing like that,” Levi sneered a bit
evasive.“Give that soap to me. I’ve got some
reports to finish after this and I don’t want to sit there until the middle of
the night. I’m not you.”Ignoring what Levi just said, Erwin stood
there, hands on his hips. He hoped waiting for a more detailed answer would
maybe loosen Levi’s unusually restricted mouth. It wasn’t in his nature to be
so reserved when it came to words. Not many knew, or assumed, Levi actually
couldn’t stop talking a lot of times.He turned around with a raised eyebrow to
check why Erwin hadn’t given him the soap yet and sighed when he saw the man
standing behind him waiting.“Alright, I was too conscious of my height,
okay? Now give me the soap.”“Wait, you were conscious about your
height? That’s why you avoided standing next to me?” Erwin almost chuckled when
he heard that, but knew if he’d actually dare, Levi would give him a death
glare and refuse to talk for the next few hours.“Yeah. Anything wrong with that?”
“Not at all,” Erwin admitted and raised his
hands after he had handed Levi the soap.“It’s just surprising.”
“Why?”
“Well, you seem very confident most of the
times. I know quite a few dislike being short but you never showed any signs it
applied to you too.”“That’s because you have no idea which
signs I give when I’m conscious about it.”For a moment Erwin was dumbfounded by what
Levi said and realized that he was absolutely right. He could examine Levi all
he wanted but ultimately would only get to know all the intrinsic details when
Levi chose to tell him. Something about that realization excited him in a way
an unread book did.“Stop staring like a creep and help me get
ready.”“Sorry,” Erwin said and got to it with a
small grin on his lips.
I’m Hamilton and SnK trash so yeah
This is a crossover literally no one asked for…wrote this while listening to this ~
Let me tell you what
I’d wish I’d known
When I was young and
dreamed of glory…
You’ve have no control
Who lives, who dies,
who tells your story…
The sun slowly peaked out from behind the clouds. He was not
normally a fan of the sun—it was a blinding inconvenience most days—but he was
more than happy to welcome the familiar warmth as its rays enveloped him. Too
many days of nonstop freezing rain had almost ruined his mood.
But when you’re gone
Who remembers your
name?
Who keeps your flame?
Who tells your story?
Gravel crunched harshly under his feet, but the sound barely
registered to him. Thorns bit into his fingers, and blood lazily dribbled down
to the grass underfoot. Even after all
this time, this part never got any easier. Erwin had done so much for him, yet
the pain never seemed to dull…
I stop wasting time on
tears…
Another farewell to another dearly departed…another year already
gone…Yet he couldn’t bring himself to cry. His tears had dried eons
ago. His mind had tormented him as the years trudged on—chiding him for not
shedding nearly enough tears for the
most important person in his life. Painful as it was, he took a little solace
in the fact that Erwin would not hold that against him. He placed the roses
before the marble slab. He’d had no time for tears.
And I’m still not
through…
I ask myself what
would you do
If you had more time?
The Lord in His
kindness
He gives me what you
always wanted…
He gives me more time…
Levi had done all he could to preserve the commander’s
memory. So many had fled from the Corps. The thought of fighting the beasts in
and beyond the walls was a distant and all-too-terrifying dream for most, and with
Erwin gone, the soldiers’ morale had plummeted sharply. Levi remained; Hange remained,
but even Humanity’s strongest and smartest could not keep the unwilling there. Civilians
demonized and harangued Erwin, but the troops needed him the most…
You could’ve done so
much more if you only had time
And when my time is up,
Have I done enough?
Will they tell your
story?
Levi had dedicated himself selfishly to his
Erwin in life, but in death, he had clung to the last shred of the commander’s
memory. And others swiftly followed his example.
Levi completely poured himself into freeing humanity. Into
seeing what exotic lands and worlds lay far beyond the walls. He’d strolled up
the coastline by himself countless times; he had marveled silently at the sheer
size of the ocean as it pitched and heaved mightily and lapped gently at his
bare feet. Hell, he’d even felt something like joy as the sand squelched and clung
to his toes. But despite the novelty of the experience, he would always return…
The orphanage…
Erwin had brought up the topic of children and adoption in
one of the more quiet afternoons in the solitude of his office. He’d been so
blasé about his desire to adopt; as if his life wasn’t hectic enough. Levi had
scoffed at the absurdity of the idea. Erwin was adept with soldiers; Levi had a
hard time imagining the commander being anything but hilariously inept with snot-nosed
toddlers. But, of course…
In their eyes I see
you…
I see you every time…
Many of the children behind the thick walls of the orphanages
had seen enough trauma to last a lifetime, and they’d dared to keep their heads
held high. Levi had seen that same hopeful spark reflecting deep in his
commander’s deep blue eyes. That same hope had resonated in his deep voice, it lingered
in each word of motivation, in how he presented himself. To his troops. To
Levi.
And when my time is
up,
Have I done enough?
Will they tell your
story?
“Perhaps at a later date. Some other time.” Time. Erwin hadn’t been given nearly
enough, and Levi couldn’t believe how much he missed those small moments of
vulnerability. It was nice to see Erwin as a man and not as a commander. Not
many could say they had that privilege. Levi could feel his throat tightening…
Oh, I can’t wait to
see you again…
It’s only a matter of
time…
Levi felt a small tug on his arm. He peered down, and met a shy
glance with a curious one of his own. The child at his side then pointed at the
words carved into smooth slab of marble before them. Levi could see pride swelling
on the small child’s face as his smile grew wider and wider; he’d seen fit to name
himself after the brave, fallen commander who had sacrificed his life for
humanity’s freedom.
Levi cast one more glance at the headstone then looked at the
child beside him. Perhaps the Erwin at his side would have more time. He’d live.
He’d grow strong and tell tales of the Survey Corps and their courage to his
own children. And they would watch and learn with eyes as wide and hopeful as
the commander’s own. And one day Levi would join his commander. A small smile
crossed his face, and finally, a few tears spilled over his cheeks. Yes. That
would be enough…
Who lives, who dies,
who tells your story?
@trashforthetrashblog, I’m sharing the love. Chapter 81 spoilers in tow~
What do I do now?
The hollow, white eyes before him mirrored the despair
creeping up his throat. He couldn’t bear to look at Levi’s limp form, much less
his face. Frozen in some twisted mixture of betrayal and shock. It had all
happened much too fast for either of them to register.
What do I do now?
Erwin hardly remembered anything. He had been sprawled amidst
fallen comrades in a sea of rippling red. A sharp pain pulsed through his side.
His mouth and nose were flooded with the scent and taste of iron and copper,
then he felt a blinding heat envelope him entirely. All he’d remembered was the
heat slowly scorching his body.
So unbearable, so
stifling, so close.
Did Levi’s death even register to him amidst the sweltering
chaos? He had not remembered grabbing the other man so harshly. Crushing and
snapping his limbs and contorting his body between enormous, indelicate fingers.
He had not remembered slipping Levi’s broken form into his gaping maw. The brutal
clash of teeth gnashing together had not registered to him.
How could I do this?
And yet here they both were. What remained of Levi’s body
lay lifeless in his grasp.
Steam hissed and crackled about Erwin’s exposed form. Erwin
couldn’t react. Not to Levi. Not to his arm—newly restored with his sudden
transformation. Not to the soldiers above and around him screaming at his
mindless brutality.
What do I do now?
33 and eruri please? (I live for angst)
SEND ME A PAIRING AND A NUMBER AND I’LL MAKE YOU SOMETHING
Sure thing, nonny!
Levi’s noticed it not long after he joined
the Survey Corps and became a part of the entire set-up. In fact, it was right
after the 4th expedition he attended. The number of casualties came
back high and threatening. He only managed to take a glance at it and knew
Erwin would have to see it over and over again, summing up on each squad leader’s
report into a calculation of death weighing down on him.When days like these happened, Erwin was
prone to spend most of his time in his office, crunching numbers, thinking
about better ways to avoid more deaths without a care about his personal
well-being. He’d lock himself up even more than he usually did, becoming
unapproachable even to Levi.Throughout time their meals together grew
from an occasional occurrence to a daily need. Levi silently looked forward to
them, even if mostly spent silently eating. The feeling of someone attending
him where he’d only known loneliness before was reassuring.
But when Erwin began to lock himself away, Levi noticed how restlessness came
crawling back to him. The food, already bland and mostly designed to fill but
not satisfy, would offer even less comfort. With no one to ramble to when Levi
felt it the most, he noticed himself turning sour as soon as the time for a
meal arrived.On the second day he was still able to
tolerate it, but when a week passed without any change, Levi got up before he’d
even begun eating his meal, took the tray to Erwin’s office and barged in.“Please don’t do this,” Levi said and
almost smashed his tray onto the commander’s table. He was pissed without
reason, but also worried about him. When did he even eat?Erwin jerked up, looked at Levi with wide
eyes as if he’d just been woken up, and then onto the tray. A realization crept
over his features until they softened in an apology he wouldn’t yet utter. Levi
knew Erwin expected his understanding.“When’s the last time you got your ass out
of this damn room?”“I’ll join you in a bit,” Erwin answered as
he resumed his writing.“Now,” Levi insisted and turned around to
leave again. This time with Erwin’s steps catching up to him.
One day he’ll slip away
Cool water flowing all around
In the river and on the ground
Leave a pocketful of stones and not believe in other livesdrawing while listening to the On an island album by David Gilmour really gets me in a certain mood
Because @trashforthetrashblog is a thirsty person. I may continue this, I don’t know. Long af thing incoming.
“You know, I don’t make a habit of inviting people in
without getting a name or some shit.”The other occupant of the apartment let out a rumbling
chuckle, and a shiver bolted up Levi’s spine as the low sound reached his ears.“Well, depends on who you ask. I have many names. But you
can call me Erwin.” Levi hardly appreciated the cryptic answer, and a part of
his brain absent-mindedly wondered when the hell Mike was coming back.Fuckin’ dumbass just
had to go to the sketchy-ass Laundromat tonight. If he’d only pulled his big
head out of his ass and fixed up the fucking washer we had here, I wouldn’t
have to deal with this shit here…
Because @trashforthetrashblog is a thirsty person. I may continue this, I don’t know. Long af thing incoming.
“You know, I don’t make a habit of inviting people in
without getting a name or some shit.”
The other occupant of the apartment let out a rumbling
chuckle, and a shiver bolted up Levi’s spine as the low sound reached his ears.
“Well, depends on who you ask. I have many names. But you
can call me Erwin.” Levi hardly appreciated the cryptic answer, and a part of
his brain absent-mindedly wondered when the hell Mike was coming back.
Fuckin’ dumbass just
had to go to the sketchy-ass Laundromat tonight. If he’d only pulled his big
head out of his ass and fixed up the fucking washer we had here, I wouldn’t
have to deal with this shit here…
Granted, the strange man was only on Levi’s couch because Levi
had invited him in. His mother—God rest her soul—instilled quite the sense of philanthropy
in him; he couldn’t just refuse to help another man in need. Besides, said man
wasn’t too terrible to look at. Well, save for the injuries he had
sustained.
Even through the black tuxedo he was wearing, vibrant
patches of blood poured through. Erwin had claimed that he was at a party a few
floors down, and some guests got a little too rowdy, and things had gone a
little south then.
Levi had shown no interest in the revelry and debauchery
going on in his apartment complex, preferring to use the rare gift of a weekend
off as an excuse to get some much needed sleep, but even he had heard the
crashes and grunts of effort as the scuffle ensued floors below.
The party had long since ended—the landlord didn’t take too
kindly to such loud and outrageous behavior—and everyone was to return home
immediately. Erwin’s home was “across the river”—the trek to the river took an
hour, traffic allowing—so the next logical step was for Erwin to find somewhere
to crash for the night.
Levi had caught a glimpse of the man shambling up the
stairwell, too many drinks in his system, clutching his bleeding forehead in
his massive hand. Levi had fought the urge to rip open his door and just
blatantly invite him in. The man was nothing short of attractive with his slicked
blond hair and striking pale blue eyes. His voice was a low rumbling purr—smooth
like silk with a hint of a rasp. Any sensible person would have to fight himself
or herself to not faint at just the sound of it.
And yet despite his appeal, no one had let him in. Levi supposed it was only fair; not many were
willing to open doors for a bleeding stranger at one in the morning.
So why the fuck did I
let him in? Something about the young man had captivated Levi. Yes, he
looked good, but thirst could only get Levi so far. Then just what the hell was
it about Erwin?
“Who’s this guy?”
Levi almost jumped from his skin and his heart lurched into
his throat.
“Jesus titty-fucking Christ, Mike…fuckin’…”
“I asked if anyone was home…” Mike shifted the laundry
basket to his right hip and again affixed his gaze upon the stranger occupying the
couch. “Who’s this guy?”
Levi sighed, dragged Mike towards the kitchen, and recounted
the situation Erwin had given him at the door. For the sake of his pride, Levi
cut out the bit where he became immediately enamored with the tall blond
stranger.
Mike acquiesced with a slight nod, then paused and turned
back to Levi. “Just…make sure he goes home in the morning….something about him just doesn’t seem right.”
He then continued his journey towards his room, his basket jostling
against his hip with each step. He gave a curt nod to Erwin as he passed, and
Erwin graciously returned the gesture with a small smile of his own. Levi meanwhile was frozen after hearing Mike’s warning. If Mike thought
something was up with Erwin…Mike put an exorbitant amount of trust in his
intuition, and that trust was well earned; that gut instinct rarely led him
astray.
Levi sighed as he entered the room Erwin was in. He barely
registered the sound of the kitchen door as it whined in its hinges when Erwin
spoke up.
“Is everything okay?” He asked rather cautiously, as if
probing too deep would get his ass thrown back out into the hallway. Levi raked
a hand down his face—that was probably a sufficient explanation of the current
condition of things—but he lied through his teeth anyways.
“Yeah…and why the fuck should you care? Shouldn’t you be
resting or something?”
“Levi…I was in a little scuffle, not a war. I’ll be fine
even if I miss a couple hours of sleep. Besides I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m
tired yet. I’d like to talk for a while.”
Levi squinted his eyes suspiciously before firing back. “I
never told you my fucking name…how do you already know it?”
“I’m not that scary, Levi. I just saw it on one of your
papers.” Erwin motioned at the mess of papers scattered carelessly across the
surface of the coffee table before him. He suddenly winced as his movement
jostled one of his injuries.
“You just opened one of your wounds again, haven’t you?” Erwin sheepishly nodded.
“Fuckin’ idiot…I’ll go get more bandages and then we can
talk or whatever…” Erwin patiently waited for Levi to get back and was greeted
with a hand offering a tall glass of water.
“Mike wants you gone in the morning…” Erwin glanced up only
to meet a profile of Levi’s face. No further explanation was given, and the
message was clear. Be gone and sober in the morning—not necessarily in that
order. It was obvious, though, that Levi did not share the sentiment, if his
shameful, averted gaze meant anything.
“Thank you.” Erwin took the glass graciously, if not a
little stiffly, and downed about half of it in one giant gulp. “I’m not one to
suffer hangovers frequently, so I’ll be out of your hair soon enough. I am
terribly sorry about inconveniencing you and your flat mate, though.”
“Shut up,” Levi growled, his attention now fully devoted to
untangling the ends of bandages. “Take off your jacket and shit again.” Erwin gently
placed his water on the coffee table before him before wordlessly acquiescing. Within
seconds his shirt and jacket were thrown on the opposite end of the couch, and
he could hear Levi grunting beside him. “Now, you said you were from…across the
river?”
“Ah…yes.” Erwin answered.
“That’s where all those rich assholes who give way too many
shits about their stupid-ass reputations live.” Erwin could give no answer. The bluntness of Levi’s question
completely threw him off. He stuttered for a response, not even sure how to
begin composing one.
“But you’re not like them, are you?” Levi finally managed to
find one end of bandage. He hesitated as he beheld Erwin’s bare chest once
more. Goddamn it. For once, Levi, think straight thoughts. Levi
almost lost his composure at the thought. Like he knew what straight thoughts
consisted of. They were damn near impossible to think with Erwin’s abs glaring
at him.
Levi hastily discarded the now blood-soaked bandages in a
nearby trashcan, muttering about how absolutely disgusting blood was. Sure
enough, the gash was open and pulsing fresh blood again.
“You must’ve been in one hell of a fight. What the fuck did
they bring? A fuckin’ shiv?”
“Well, they sure as hell used it like one. They broke a
bottle,” Erwin clarified, hissing as Levi gracelessly doused his arm in more
rubbing alcohol.
“Oh, don’t be a baby…” Levi growled, briefly scraping a
cotton ball across the affected area.
“I’d like to think myself a gentleman. I stepped in before those
drunken men could get…how you say? Handsy with the hostess.”
“And I’m sure she was waving around her fucking handkerchief
as she watched her sorry ass knight get booted from the party. And who said
chivalry was dead?” Erwin chuckled again; with such proximity, Levi felt the air
around him vibrate with the sulky tenor of the sound. Levi needed to get this
over with quick before he fell further into this man’s charms. His hands trembled
and fumbled as he attempted to tie off the bandage.
What is it about this
man…?
A massive hand gently lay across Levi’s, and immediately
Levi froze. Erwin might have come across as a giant, warm, overall approachable
person, but his hands were of ice. Yet, Levi found a sort of comfort in the
contact; his hands stopped their convulsive fit, at least. But those hands left as soon as they came, and Levi saw the
other man avoiding his gaze consciously.
“I-I’m sorry. Your hands were shaking and…I’ve always had
bad circulation…”
“Shut up,” Levi snapped once more, as embarrassment dusted
his cheeks with a dark shade of red. “Anyways…your neighbors must suck ass. They’re
all jacking off onto their piles of money and shit, congratulating themselves
on how far they’ve made it. I’m sure you must be used to the party scene over
there now, huh?”
“Honestly, it’s…rather quiet where I live.” Levi tied off
the bandage with a soft grunt but soon his attention was back on Erwin.
“You’re shitting me? If they weren’t so goddamn rich, they’d
be getting noise complaints left and right. How do you not hear them? You said you pretty much brushed assholes with ‘em.”
“It’s just…quiet,” Erwin reiterated cryptically. His pale
eyes peered straight ahead, as if he were looking through time itself.
“Uh-huh,” Levi muttered, clearly not buying anything Erwin
was saying now. “So what kind of job do you have?”
“Hm?”
“Job? Source of income? So you can rub assholes with those
snobby, rich boys across the river.”
“Oh, I’m universally hated.”
“Okay, that doesn’t fuckin’ answer my fuckin’ question,”
Levi snorted. “Let me guess, lawyer? Doctor? You charge poor asshats a billion
dollars for some shit that can be fixed at home. Which one gets the most shit
on, I wonder? Which is it?”
“Undertaker.”
“What? Bullshit.
No fuckin’ way that horseshit makes that much money. You have to had gambled and won big or
sat the fuck on a street corner or something.”
A part of Levi was firmly incredulous. The other part was seething at
the fact that a lowly undertaker could somehow make more money than ever could
in a lifetime.
“You don’t know how much I wanna strangle you for that, but
I’ll let it slide because I wanna be a fucking nice person…Now, why in the fuck
would people hate you?”
“I handle the bodies of dearly beloved ones. People who were
living, breathing souls just days ago. Just doesn’t elicit much sympathy.”
Erwin stated matter-of-factly.
“Why the fuck? Shouldn’t they be mad at the fucking shitty
ass situation that got their ‘dearly beloved’ killed or something? Or life? Or, hell, even
God?” Why was Levi so quick to defend this man’s bizarre choice of career now?
He had wanted to skin him alive for it earlier.
“Eh, comes with the territory, I’d say. I’m rather used to
people thinking I’m some sort of monster.”
“Ah, well, fuck ‘em. You get haters no matter the job.
Whatever helps pay the bills…I still refuse to believe that just undertaking pays all your damn
bills, Erwin. But, whatever, the dog I live with wants you gone by sunrise and
I’m not gonna be the asshole who keeps you up all night.”
“I don’t blame him for not wanting to let a stranger in.
I’ve met many like him: highly intuitive people. Trust their guts because
they’re hardly wrong. But I won’t be in your way tomorrow. By the way, I rather
enjoyed your company tonight. Believe it or not, my profession doesn’t allow
for a lot of conversation, so it’s nice to talk to more lively people.” Erwin chuckled at the pun, and the glare Levi shot
him could’ve froze the fires of hell.
“Fuckin’ idiot,” Levi growled out, now disenfranchised by
Erwin’s supposed suaveness. “You goddamn talk too much. Go to bed.” Levi made
sure to give Erwin directions to the bathroom, should the urge to vomit or piss
arise in the other man—Levi would’ve loved to not clean any mysterious fluids
off his couch in the morning—and bid Erwin a curt goodnight.
“Goodnight…Levi.” Erwin let the name roll off his tongue
like melting butter, and Levi fought the urge to comment on just how pleasant
his name sounded in Erwin’s mouth.
No need to be so
forward with a man you’re only going to see once…Thoroughly chastised, Levi
trudged towards his room, wedged comfortably between Mike’s room at the end of
the hall and the bathroom.
His bed was such a welcome sight upon such a long day. He
fell upon with all the grace of a drunken horse, thoroughly exhausted by the
events of tonight, and planning to sleep in the next day. Sleep found him
sooner than he found it that night, and as the last dregs of consciousness
faded away, thoughts of Erwin played in his head.
Levi woke to the smell of freshly brewed coffee. He cast a
hesitant glance at the clock on his nightstand, and almost sighed in relief
when he saw that he’d successfully slept in. An improvement considering he
hardly got any kind of sleep during the week.
Must’ve been tired or
some shit…or was it because you had happy thoughts of…
Levi stopped that train before it started careening uncontrollably,
pushing through the kitchen door with a zombielike groan of “Coffee.” Mike already had a mug of steaming energy in one massive
hand. He acknowledged Levi with a grunt—clearly, neither Mike nor Levi had had
their customary fix of caffeine.
“There’s more in the pot.”
“There fuckin’ better be or I’ll make good on my threat to
get you fuckin’ neutered.”
Mike took a few hesitant sips of coffee as Levi dragged the
mug Mike had thoughtfully brought down for him across the counter. It rasped
and screeched as it grated across the cheap surface, but Levi could not have
been assed to lift the thing off the counter, and Mike didn’t have any
complaints to make about the sound—he was thoroughly engrossed in his coffee.
Levi was focusing on not missing his cup and sending himself
to the hospital, when Mike interjected easily.
“He’s gone, by the way.”
“Yeah, I sorta fuckin’ figured. Didn’t see his ass laid out
on the couch.”
“But he left you this.” Mike handed him a neatly folded note.
On the front in hasty but bland scrawl, was Levi’s name. Mike’s handwriting was
akin to that of a six-year-old hopped up on Adderall and cocaine, and unless
there was a friendly ghost who enjoyed writing notes to only him occupying the
apartment as well, Levi knew just whom the note came from. Levi opened the note
with one hand, bringing the cup of coffee to his lips and enjoying the sting of
scalding, bitter black coffee as it dribbled down his throat.
I enjoyed our chat last night. I look forward to seeing you again in the
future.
Is that it? Levi’s
eyes scrambled desperately across the page, looking for something else. Would
he be an asshole if he just assumed that Erwin would give him something to
contact him with? A number? Hell, he’d settle for an email address. Surely
enough, a number was printed innocuously in one corner of the page along with a
messy scribble of Erwin’s full name in cursive.
“Asshole,” Levi snorted, but there was no vitriol in the word,
and he was sure Mike could see the smirk he was trying to contain slowly
breaking out across his face.
More of Eruri Soulmate AU because I have no self-control and far too much time on my hands…
(first two parts here and here)
How his resolve had
crumbled…Levi clenched his teeth bitterly, barely stifling curses under
bated breath.
Levi had planned to let his legs take him as far as humanly
possible from that apartment, but he’d hardly made it down the first two
flights of stairs when his stupid brain decided that now was as good a time as
any to start deliberating on shit.
“If you left, where
would you go?” The question had been stuck in Levi’s head since he’d left. Truth
be told, he still didn’t know. No one wanted him around: not Nile, not his damned
uncle, and certainly not Erwin.
Pretty apparent that
he never liked you to begin with. And why would he? You weren’t worth his
pretty little time. Your mum would be so…
Levi’s fist forcefully collided with the wall, and even in
his blind fury, he could feel the angry bite of pain as it raced through his
arm. Why? Why did that voice always have to sound like Kenny? However
irritating it was, the voice was right. Like it always was…
Levi descended down the rest of the stairs. He clutched at
his injured hand as each step he took jostled it more and more.
His feet led him back to his long-abandoned hovel of a house.
He remembered the day the two of them—they were only children then—first found
it. The main rooms had done nothing but collect dust and mold and cobwebs. The
place reeked of piss and desperation, but at that time, so did Levi and Farlan. He’d done
his best to clean it up, and the two both had driven any
intruders—thankfully none were bigger than a housecat—from the premises.
Peace was a fleeting miracle—gang wars and police brutality
ran rampant just outside their door. Then Isabel quite literally barged into
their lives and shattered any semblance of peace that had settled over their humble
abode forever. She’d been fleeing from some cops who were willing to let her
off the hook for some petty crime for a “small favor” in return. Levi had seen
to them almost instantly, and no one on the streets was all the wiser when the
crooked cops who’d had a “taste for younger women” went missing from the force.
Levi could almost hear her laugh—shrill, loud, and mirthful—echoing
off the walls. He’d envied her; Isabel had been reared in much tougher conditions
than he had, and yet she still found some fleeting quality in life worth
smiling and laughing about. She could always find something to be grateful for.
She could still be spontaneous and fiery even in the midst of despair and
torment; Levi couldn’t say that about many people.
And Farlan…he was only slightly older than Levi, but the
wisdom he had extended beyond his years. Levi found himself going to the older
boy for advice—and Farlan was more than willing to supply it—but he’d always
give Levi free reign over his own choices. Farlan was almost too smart for his
own good, and his intellect went far beyond what he’d learned on the streets. He
could’ve given Erwin a run for his money, and Levi would’ve loved to have seen
that: two shrewd young men trying to strategize, plot, and scheme against each
other. Who would win?
If they were
here…would they hate me? I let them wander off. I let them die. They weren’t even twenty, dammit. They could’ve
had the rest of their lives ahead of them, and I let them go…God, I’d trade my
miserable life for theirs if it meant they could be here right now…
Levi cast a longing glance at the sky. It had shifted from a pale gold to a deep, simmering purple…For all he knew they
could’ve been matching his wistful glance with a disdainful one from above.
Of course, there I go
overestimating the worth of my life. No amount of bargaining with whatever
stupid thing up there is going to bring any of them back….
But the thought lingered in his mind, heavy, depressing, and
unwavering. He’d give everything up in a heartbeat for those two—he was sure of
it.
But then, like always, there was the question of Erwin. Any
meaning in Levi’s life had been lost to the annals of time as each struggle he
faced and each heartache he passively endured stripped away at his will to live.
But Erwin…How would he feel? If Levi just keeled over, how
would the other man react? Would he
react? The man was so damned adamant about Levi’s role in his life.
He was willing to put up with Levi’s shit—which was more than
Levi could say about Nile. Erwin was more than happy to accommodate so Levi’s
stay—however brief it was—wouldn’t be unbearable. He’d tended to his wounds,
fed him, clothed him, and allowed him into his own personal space without
asking for any favors or gifts in return. And it seemed he really didn’t want
Levi to leave—even if his reasoning seemed a bit…off.
Levi sighed. Goddamnit…All this thinking did nothing but
give him a massive headache. A chill had steeped into the air and it passed
through Levi with all the precision and grace of a dulled blade. For the third
time in little less than a week, Levi made his decision.
prompt 4??
4- “kiss me, please.”
Sorry this one took so long!! Essays suck ass tbh & this turned into angst I’m sorry omg
•••
“Kiss me,” Levi had said one night, closing the door to the commander’s office behind him. “Or stop leading me on.”
“I can’t,” was all Erwin said. He closed his eyes for a moment and looked away.
Levi slammed the door shut on his way out.
–
“Kiss me, Erwin.”
Levi had pulled him out of the ballroom and into a vacant hallway to escape the hundreds of noble women waiting for a dance with the esteemed commander, much to Levi’s chagrin.
Erwin only gave him a sad smile, pressing chapped lips to the smaller man’s forehead. “I’m sorry.”
–
The medical wing was packed with dozens of wounded men and the corpses of fallen soldiers.
Erwin never thought it would come to this. He never thought he would be paying his respects to the lifeless body of the man he loves.
He was too late.
“Kiss me.” He placed a shaky hand over Levi’s cold ones. “please.”
His words fell on deaf ears.
“I remember my first time notifying a family of a passing. They threw rocks at me and cursed my name. I’m a monster, for taking away their son.”
Levi grabs Erwin’s head, rolling on top of him. Even though those people aren’t here and that story is in the past, he can’t help but want to protect Erwin from these words. He tips Erwin’s head back, silencing him with a fierce kiss.
“Don’t call yourself that,” Levi mutters, tracing the skin of Erwin’s jawline with his thumb. “It’s not true.”
synnatra 